Scared :(

Right as fourth got out my sister texted me and said her and my brother were at the hospital with with my mom. it was like a sudden stab..it didn't really sink in for the first ten minutes..but i keyed in the fact that my mom said she couldn't use her hand yesterday cuz it was numb, its didn't really mean anything till then. it was so telepathic tho cuz right when i told jimmy she was in the hospital he was like "wait, was her left arm hurting??" and i was like yeah her arm was hurting yesterday but idk which arm and it was just incredibly weird that it was the first thing that came to his mind...anyways he said he'd take me to the hospital but i didnt really want him to so i just went to market of choice with him and angela trying to figure out what i was going to do..instead i kind of just sat there crying because i was scared of what was happening..all i knew was that she was there, and that her whole right side was numb. it scared me half to death cuz it had to be pretty bad if she was at the hospital...my dad doesnt believe in doctors...i got a hold of my aunt and they said they were at Sacred Heart so me and angela got a ride over there. it lightened my mood too see my mom smile when i walked in but they told me all that was up and it made me so sad :( she had a stroke yesterday and that was the problem with her arm..but no one knew..and since she waited till today to go to the hospital, which was mind blowing that she actualy went, it made things worse...if she had waited till tomorrow, which she wanted to do today, she might had never been able to walk again. now that is the scariest thing i have ever had to hear. good thing my brother and sister took her...i dont know what i'd do if that really happened...the doctor said she needs to watch what she eats cuz she has diabetes and keep taking the medicne she stopped using cuz of the price...all of this just sucks because the stuff that should be done cant becuase we don't have the money. and thats just awesome...

i cant keep my eyes from watering :( i jcant stop crying...my grandparents just left, and it was so hard to keep a smile on.

ugh..i have so much to do tonight..oh and thanks angela for being there for me..its nice that atleast someone cared..


God, jsut one wish, make my mom better...thats all i want..